Right, before i begin i would like to say that i do not claim/believe to be a love guru but i can say that i have been through a few experiences which have taught me a thing or two.
When asked about love, lust and relationships everyone loves to give their own little verdict on how others should live their lives, me included. So, let me get right down to it! Everybody has that magical moment in a relationship, that second when everything falls into place, the moment that when you look back you say "yeah, that was the moment i realised things were going pretty well".
This moment often comes up at the end of a Hollywood movie, for example; when the right guy stops the wrong guy marrying the vulnerable girl at the alter and then in the next scene the right guy and the girl get married at a nicer, fancier location... you've all seen it.
Now the funny thing is, after this moment the credits roll and the couples head off to bed and the woman shows the man how much she appreciates him staying awake during the movie.
What nobody seems to think of is what happens next? And the reason for this is you never see it... But how does the wrong guy react to being shown up at the alter... and how does he get over the money he spent on her and the wedding?... and probably the house which always seems to be huge in those movies. I mean that guy is probably going to be a little pissed. And what about the girl? She will always have a little something for the wrong guy... she will always ask herself "what if?".
This is what i like to call 'Sequel syndrome' (and I'm trademarking that phrase). Basically this is when real couples come out the other side of 'that moment' when everything goes right and they realise they're perfectly in love, (Q the credits) and then all the details from before catch up with them! For a completely random example, say you were sneaking around with someone who had a partner for a number of years and then they realised that they're not happy in their old life and that they want you full time, so they leave their partner and stay with you... that's the end of the movie right? Wrong!! The partner comes back with revenge, the parents hate you, the mutual friends hate you, the differences between you and your saucy new partner start to show and finally... well i think that's it but it's certainly enough. That's why they do not make sequels to 'Rom Com's' because they would be VERY depressing!
So when you pass the end of the movie and onto the sequel how do you know what to do? Hide? Elope? Change your names? These ideas all seem a little extreme... you could be grown up about it and face these problems, you could be the bigger person and show that your love is stronger than any past problems but of course all these things are easier said than done.
Once, someone told me when one door closes a new door opens, which i can say with some confidence is true but, what about when a new door opens by itself? Do other doors close? No! They do not close, they remain open and issues come running after you like a fat kid who didn't get to the ice cream van in time! (you being the Ice cream van in that weird simile).
So it's obvious that someones past is going to eventually crop up in a relationship at the wrong time and hang a big old black cloud over a lovely day in paradise. I believe it's how you prepare for these things, the key factors of any relationship is trust, communication and understanding. I believe that 110%. I mean even if the past doesn't show up in human form, if somebody has suffered a relationship with lack of trust from before then that is going to put a whole heap of pressure on the partner to play superman at all time just to stop the other half from losing faith in the relationship all together, regardless to if you've done anything wrong or not!
What i tend to do is to look forward and see what I've taken from past experiences and how i can use them in my future relationships... not worrying about how the past may catch up with me. Being sure that I've gone about everything in the right way and been as grown up as i can be, because at the end of the day it's not how you react to a situation at the time that matters, it's only how you bounce back from that. I've taken a million lessons from my experiences and i know that these will serve me greatly in the next part of my life. (sorry to get a little serious at the end there! be sure to read some jokes in the next blog so you don't all think I'm a complete square!)
I'm not going to end by dishing out answers for all these problems because like i said, i am no guru and i wouldn't want to disappoint! I merely wanted to share my observations with you and if you've been in any of these positions then you can at the very least relate to this blog!
Cheers :)
Monday, 5 October 2009
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
'i've had the same jeans on for several million years now'
Meaty stuff there in the title i know.
Darwinism, for me, is the only theory.
It's been 200 years since the birth of Charles Robert Darwin and yet his theory is as relevant today as it ever has been, if not more so.
Charles Darwin, to sum up very briefly, published his ideas of evolution by 'means of natural selection' in his book 'the origin of species by means of natural selection or the preservation of favoured races in the struggle for life'. Wow quite the title there. Anyway, he believed that god didn't create the world and that it was millions of years old and that we have all evolved from one particular ancestor, meaning that we are all animals.
In fact if you held your mothers hand and she held hers and she held hers and so fourth and a chimpanzee did the same opposite you, you would both end up holding one hand each of some creature that is neither a monkey nor a human, and that line would only be about 300 miles long! If the entire timeline of the world was an hour for example, humans wouldn't come in until about the 59th second of the 59th minute!
The idea is that the only thing that is forever going is 'genes', they are passed on when we reproduce and random mistakes occur called mutations which create new characteristics that are designed to be better, if you like, in the next life time at living!
Pretty much that's about it although Darwin did spread that out a little more over like 500 pages in a very very small font but we will let him off, he had a lot to get off his chest, especially considering he didn't publish his book of ideas until about 20 years after he had recorded them because he didn't want to offend people. When Darwin was born he was brought up in a society that believed in the christian god and that the earth was little over 6000 years old. His wife was a strict christian and this seriously affected their relationship because Darwin argued against everything his beloved wife believed in, they vowed never to speak of it. (talk about bottled up emotions)
Now Mr christian god told everyone he made the earth, if you're going to lie make sure you keep it realistic right...I've learnt this myself in my lifetime. god? no! he went off on one, he got carried away and made a mess of it, "yeah i made the world, everything i did and i didn't even have any help aaaannnddd i did it in the dark!"
yeah, sure...although that might explain what went wrong with manatees... and the ginger one in girls aloud! They are surely creations of a midnight experiment! but anyway that's not the point. I'm rambling, listen to me i sound like horrie!
Darwin born in 1809 dropped boring old school to travel the world on the HMS beagle, he saw
everything including 'fossils' this is where the thinking started, he figured that all fossils looked similar to particular animals, this he thought meant everything in some way must be related why are these creatures that are almost the same as these ones extinct? Why didn't this one survive? and out of all the animals he could have chosen to love HE BECAME 'DA DA DAAA' a pigeon lover?? yeah, he studied pigeons, back home in 'down house' in Kent he looked at all the differences, how some had slightly larger beaks and some had slightly larger wings. This turned out to be evolution, every reproduced animal is a slightly evolved version of the one before,
this is evident now, pray escape predators more, predators can now catch pray easier.
The latest in the modelling line of giraffe has a slightly shorter neck because the trees in its habitat are shorter than before! Basically our genes started off in one creature and are passed on with new, edited information in them every time. The DNA inside is made up of 4 chemicals; A, T, C & G and whatever order these are in determines what species you are. So when 'the view' said I've had the same jeans on for four days now, they really meant, 'I've had the same jeans on for several million years now'.
The reason many people disliked Darwin's theory was that it had no magic, no badda-Bing, no charm, no mojo, it was dull and pointless, we're put on this earth to survive, we then tell our descendants how to do it a little better, our genes are like little instruction manuals.
The stronger, faster and more adapt to your habitat you become the more your genes develop and the longer your species will live. Awesome hey? The funniest question is... when the animal kingdom is so ruthless and cruel and the idea of life is to out wit your opponent then why are humans not like this? We give to charity, we have doctors etc... the reason is the selfish gene. We are the fifth monkey, sorry if you dislike it but its true, in fact a great fact is this- we are actually closer in relation to a chimpanzee than a horse is to an ass!
The reason we are the way we are is because we are the most evolved species, we have outgrown our selfish gene, we have developed such a huge brain that we managed to rebel against our selfish gene, now we have society and laws... and what is the next step? 7 out of 10 people in Nairobi have HIV but some now have something in them that makes them immune to HIV, does this mean that we are evolving to defeat viruses? Could we, millions of years from now possibly live forever???
It seems every animal is a prototype and they live a struggle, the good ones pass on their resistances to the next and they then become stronger.
Darwin quote "the race is survival, the finish line is reproduction".
I'm a huge Darwin fan and hopefully this shows why, if the human brain has evolved so much that someone can work that out then only 'god' knows what we will be able to discover years from now!
If monkeys were put in a situation that was more humane than the ones they live i now then possibly they could at some point grow the brain to think and create like humans! Every part of the human brain can be found in the chimps brain, just slightly less developed! AMAZING ihear you say? cheers for reading!
Darwinism, for me, is the only theory.
It's been 200 years since the birth of Charles Robert Darwin and yet his theory is as relevant today as it ever has been, if not more so.
Charles Darwin, to sum up very briefly, published his ideas of evolution by 'means of natural selection' in his book 'the origin of species by means of natural selection or the preservation of favoured races in the struggle for life'. Wow quite the title there. Anyway, he believed that god didn't create the world and that it was millions of years old and that we have all evolved from one particular ancestor, meaning that we are all animals.
In fact if you held your mothers hand and she held hers and she held hers and so fourth and a chimpanzee did the same opposite you, you would both end up holding one hand each of some creature that is neither a monkey nor a human, and that line would only be about 300 miles long! If the entire timeline of the world was an hour for example, humans wouldn't come in until about the 59th second of the 59th minute!
The idea is that the only thing that is forever going is 'genes', they are passed on when we reproduce and random mistakes occur called mutations which create new characteristics that are designed to be better, if you like, in the next life time at living!
Pretty much that's about it although Darwin did spread that out a little more over like 500 pages in a very very small font but we will let him off, he had a lot to get off his chest, especially considering he didn't publish his book of ideas until about 20 years after he had recorded them because he didn't want to offend people. When Darwin was born he was brought up in a society that believed in the christian god and that the earth was little over 6000 years old. His wife was a strict christian and this seriously affected their relationship because Darwin argued against everything his beloved wife believed in, they vowed never to speak of it. (talk about bottled up emotions)
Now Mr christian god told everyone he made the earth, if you're going to lie make sure you keep it realistic right...I've learnt this myself in my lifetime. god? no! he went off on one, he got carried away and made a mess of it, "yeah i made the world, everything i did and i didn't even have any help aaaannnddd i did it in the dark!"
yeah, sure...although that might explain what went wrong with manatees... and the ginger one in girls aloud! They are surely creations of a midnight experiment! but anyway that's not the point. I'm rambling, listen to me i sound like horrie!
Darwin born in 1809 dropped boring old school to travel the world on the HMS beagle, he saw
everything including 'fossils' this is where the thinking started, he figured that all fossils looked similar to particular animals, this he thought meant everything in some way must be related why are these creatures that are almost the same as these ones extinct? Why didn't this one survive? and out of all the animals he could have chosen to love HE BECAME 'DA DA DAAA' a pigeon lover?? yeah, he studied pigeons, back home in 'down house' in Kent he looked at all the differences, how some had slightly larger beaks and some had slightly larger wings. This turned out to be evolution, every reproduced animal is a slightly evolved version of the one before,
this is evident now, pray escape predators more, predators can now catch pray easier.
The latest in the modelling line of giraffe has a slightly shorter neck because the trees in its habitat are shorter than before! Basically our genes started off in one creature and are passed on with new, edited information in them every time. The DNA inside is made up of 4 chemicals; A, T, C & G and whatever order these are in determines what species you are. So when 'the view' said I've had the same jeans on for four days now, they really meant, 'I've had the same jeans on for several million years now'.
The reason many people disliked Darwin's theory was that it had no magic, no badda-Bing, no charm, no mojo, it was dull and pointless, we're put on this earth to survive, we then tell our descendants how to do it a little better, our genes are like little instruction manuals.
The stronger, faster and more adapt to your habitat you become the more your genes develop and the longer your species will live. Awesome hey? The funniest question is... when the animal kingdom is so ruthless and cruel and the idea of life is to out wit your opponent then why are humans not like this? We give to charity, we have doctors etc... the reason is the selfish gene. We are the fifth monkey, sorry if you dislike it but its true, in fact a great fact is this- we are actually closer in relation to a chimpanzee than a horse is to an ass!
The reason we are the way we are is because we are the most evolved species, we have outgrown our selfish gene, we have developed such a huge brain that we managed to rebel against our selfish gene, now we have society and laws... and what is the next step? 7 out of 10 people in Nairobi have HIV but some now have something in them that makes them immune to HIV, does this mean that we are evolving to defeat viruses? Could we, millions of years from now possibly live forever???
It seems every animal is a prototype and they live a struggle, the good ones pass on their resistances to the next and they then become stronger.
Darwin quote "the race is survival, the finish line is reproduction".
I'm a huge Darwin fan and hopefully this shows why, if the human brain has evolved so much that someone can work that out then only 'god' knows what we will be able to discover years from now!
If monkeys were put in a situation that was more humane than the ones they live i now then possibly they could at some point grow the brain to think and create like humans! Every part of the human brain can be found in the chimps brain, just slightly less developed! AMAZING ihear you say? cheers for reading!
Monday, 16 February 2009
"Jesus!... JESUS...can you play football?"
So if you didn't know... i play for this football team called the fist of Christ right and i wanted to take out five minutes to talk about the future of this once great team...
so this whole idea was to bring together some lads from the first year at uni and make some new friends in a strange new world... this worked.. my stand in best friends all play for this team and we get along pretty well, we look forward to our Thursdays and we have some awesome post match drinks...
we ended our first season with runner up medals which we earned fair and square i believe. now our second season is underway and its a whole new situation. our defence is finding the new league really tough..faster, stronger attackers and quick passing midfielders are tearing us apart.
our midfield is sloppy and lazy and our attack hasn't turned up yet. the attack from last season was amazing...fast, flowing and feisty! this season we've scored 4 goals in 2 games but conceded 7 which is so unlike us.
we are bringing in new players and casting out the old... we're arguing, this isn't how it should be but it is. unless we rack up a couple of points soon this could be the beginning of the end for the mighty fist.
confidence is at an all time low and this is evident on the field. the midfield is lacking in speed, creativity and passion and the attack is lacking a pair of teeth... we're unable to bite anyone with out our soccer teeth!! our goal keeper bless him has had the worse luck of all, if it could strangely some how go in using all the elements and a bit of satins bad karma....it has! last year was a dream season and i guess this season will be an eye opener. the team will fold if we have a really poor season because everybody is falling to pieces on the field and this is affecting the group socially.
so lets hope the luck picks up soon and we can make a claim for the top of the table like last year.
loosing the fist of Christ would be like loosing a child but it's on the horizon! with a huge game this week it's almost make or break at this early stage. fingers crossed.
so this whole idea was to bring together some lads from the first year at uni and make some new friends in a strange new world... this worked.. my stand in best friends all play for this team and we get along pretty well, we look forward to our Thursdays and we have some awesome post match drinks...
we ended our first season with runner up medals which we earned fair and square i believe. now our second season is underway and its a whole new situation. our defence is finding the new league really tough..faster, stronger attackers and quick passing midfielders are tearing us apart.
our midfield is sloppy and lazy and our attack hasn't turned up yet. the attack from last season was amazing...fast, flowing and feisty! this season we've scored 4 goals in 2 games but conceded 7 which is so unlike us.
we are bringing in new players and casting out the old... we're arguing, this isn't how it should be but it is. unless we rack up a couple of points soon this could be the beginning of the end for the mighty fist.
confidence is at an all time low and this is evident on the field. the midfield is lacking in speed, creativity and passion and the attack is lacking a pair of teeth... we're unable to bite anyone with out our soccer teeth!! our goal keeper bless him has had the worse luck of all, if it could strangely some how go in using all the elements and a bit of satins bad karma....it has! last year was a dream season and i guess this season will be an eye opener. the team will fold if we have a really poor season because everybody is falling to pieces on the field and this is affecting the group socially.
so lets hope the luck picks up soon and we can make a claim for the top of the table like last year.
loosing the fist of Christ would be like loosing a child but it's on the horizon! with a huge game this week it's almost make or break at this early stage. fingers crossed.
Sunday, 15 February 2009
HEY! Whats your name again?
so i was speaking to Nader and we got to talking about this and that...you know how you do and all.
we thought, funny how you can trip over in the work place or the town or the school area and be ridiculed, laughed at and simply abused by the most brain dead of people and then you could trip in the Amazon rainforest in front of over 1500 species of bird and 50,000 species of insect in a single square mile and they would hardly notice.
it's this strange thought that keeps my faith in the human race at a consistent 'little'! sure there are some very special people out there and some great legends of history which i admire greatly but that doesn't sugar-coat the greed, the betrayal, the fraud, the deception, the cruelty and the crazy, mindlessness flowing throughout the rest of humanity.
humanity? humanity has adopted a new meaning over time... it's meaning has broadened, it has made a semantic shift. we now believe that being humane is to feel, to understand, to believe and trust but how very wrong we all are! we say that if someone does something reckless then it isn't humane... but how many acts against the name need to be done before the semantic shifting begins again? lets wake up and smell the coffee, humanity is reckless, vicious and spiteful.
in the animal kingdom animals fight for food, territory, young ones and their life. they simply fight for survival. we live in a completely different world socially to these species, we had the intelligence to create a democracy, create laws and create a system that over 80% of the human race follows. thanks to this, we do not need to fight for food, fight for survival, fight for territory of fight for our families... we think? now i've never seen a monkey grab a plastic bag and wrap it around another monkey's head whilst he was tied to a tree and make him beg for mercy using only the fear and torment in his eyes buuuut, it could well have happened, i doubt it though. anyway my point is we as humans are ruthless killing machines, we can destroy anything, we can bully the smaller things like insects and things, thats easy, we all do that by being what is called 'bigger' but even without claws and huge teeth we can shit all over lions and tigers! we are killers and so why did the almighty give us the brains of the world, we can destroy the world...we're doing it! i'm not going to bore you with talks of your carbon footprint now but come on...Elephants can weigh a ton and be harmless to the planet and we can destroy the earth with our size nines? hello? killers! TERMINATORS i prefer to call us, it has a ring to it and it doesn't automatically file us for some good old time in the big house. wow the big house, us killers are so ruthless that with our brains we made a place to detain the really good ones!
all this crazy speech is about is...and bring on the drum roll please... did the intelligence get delivered to the wrong species? is humanity anything more than the most amazing killing programme ever created?
you could imagine the episode of 'Holy Dragons Den'
the boss of all this madness-"so who are you?"
god-"well, i'm god and stuff,"
the boss-"did you invent the animal things?"
god-"ahmmm"
the boss-"thats pretty awesome those things are good, i mean really good."
god-(slight blush) "cheers"
the boss-"so? a new idea?"
god-"yeah right these things that can do all what animals can but better... not as good looking and not as nice and not as cute...not as sensible, not as thoughtful, not as curious, not as awesome... but they will create this thing called monopoly and you will LOVE IT...then they will cover the earth with crap things like buildings and stuff then eventually blow it all up... a film will definitely be made about it as well...
the boss-"awesome, go for it"
that was weird i know but i think it might of happened... probably!
a guy stabbed another guy on the bus once because he asked him to NOT throw chips at his girlfriend... all the other 'humans' on the bus just sat and watched... well all you can say is... whats wrong with throwing chips at someone? thats humanity right?
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